Human Needs Example

Hi,

Last night, I had a few questions about the Human Needs. More specifically, how to apply it to weight loss.

First, don't get too wrapped up in this. Believe me, the following sessions will consist of a far more straight forward collection of simple to do, "do this" strategies and techniques. The Human Needs information, more than anything else, is to allow you to stop being (if you have been in the past) so hard on yourself, and, to realize, that every behavior, no matter how crazy or illogical it may feel, seem or appear, has a positive intention, and is meeting one or more of your needs on an intense level.

Here is an example of what someone may discover when looking through the lens of the Human Needs Model.

"Mary" has never lost weight (of any significance, or length of time in her life) before. She sets goals-usually just before summer, or around New Years- but never really gets going.

While examining her behavior following all of her past goals that just never got started, she notices that every single time she has "decided" to lose weight in the past, it has only been after a friend, loved one co-worker, etc. has told her how "pretty" she is, and that it's such a shame she doesn't maximize her "gift" and take better care of herself. Initially, she is inspired, but then....

So,the question is HOW does Mary get excited, but then fail to take action?

What she discovers is an eye opening revelation; she finds that the number one need she meets by not getting started, and not losing weight, is the need of significance. When she resisted her friends, loved ones etc. she had unconsciously been meeting the need of feeling important. In short, she is "standing up for herself"..at least that's how she percieves it.

She is able to meet the need for connection in a powerful way as well. Most of her close friends are overweight. She can now see, that whenever someone in the group became thin, and was able to wear new and different clothes, the people who were still overweight grew resentful, and started to "push" the thinner person out of the group, not including them in as many activities. Unconsciously, she had picked up on this in the past and surmised that by staying overweight, she could also stay connected.

Of course, having been overweight for most of her life, it met the need for certainty on a very high level. After all, being 40 lbs lighter would be full of uncertainty "How would people treat me?" "How would my spouse feel about it?" This would be very new territory.

This is just an example. It will be different for everyone, but this should get you started in finding what needs your past decisions and behaviors have been meeting.

Don't worry about doing too much with what you discover, at this point...just notice.

Talk with you soon!

Vince